Shot through the Heart

I've been hit by a huge blow and I don't know what to do about it. I'm hurting and all anyone can say is how this is all my fault. Don't you think I know that? It KILLS me that I did this to myself, my family, my boys. They are my whole world. I need them and they need me. But yet I keep getting told that I caused this. I keep getting asked why I didn't ask for help. I did. But apparently it was to the wrong person. Why is it that my friends are the only support that I have? And they aren't even here. Jason is a support, but he's hurting as much as I am right now too. Gosh I feel like I just need a hug and does any one even THINK what I'm going through. Its killing me. Weighs on my soul. Just Praying the situation changes soon. Even if you don't know what in the world I'm talking about, if you pray, please pray for strength for Jason and I to get through this, and for the situation to get better fast. Thank you.

God bless you all.